Connection Catalyst: Tanya Geisler

Oct 17, 2011 by Tamarisk

I adore this woman. She’s so super luscious I could spread her on a cracker. After I asked her to participate in this interview series, we jumped on Skype and nattered away like we’d been friends for years. Instant love, fiercely bright and funny to boot. She’s H-O-T.

 

1. What does connection mean to you?

Connection is such a deeply-rooted value of mine that I almost don’t even notice its presence (much like joy) in that it means EVERYTHING to me.

Connecting with self, connecting to source, connecting with meaning, connecting with values, connecting with others…connection in all forms is the path to stripping back and getting to it.

And the “it” is where the honey is.

2. How do you connect?
It’s my intention to connect truthfully and authentically. I’ve taken a page out of my seven-year-old’s book: if I like someone, or something they’re doing, I tell them.

But forcing connection? I’m so over it…and that was a gift to myself in my early thirties. Because if it’s not an authentic connection, it lacks integrity (and, seriously: who has time for THAT?).

3. What is most meaningful for you about connection {with yourself and with others}?

If you’re not connected (to source, self, others), then you’re disconnected.

It’s an obvious observation, of course, but it’s profound, because little good flows from a place of disconnection.

Disconnection, distance, discord, dissension. I could throw “dis-ease” in there too, but that might be me playing silly bugger with alliteration. Am going to think on that…because it does feel like there’s a nugget of truth there.

4. How are you a catalyst for connection?

Tangentially. I serve as a catalyst for others to connect more deeply with themselves by exploring (and dissolving) their disharmonious “stuck”. I believe the continuum of connection looks something like: source à values à self à others. It’s hard to connect meaningfully with others if we’ve yet to connect to our own source, values and self. So, connecting with your own values and self yields the sublime outcome of having the capacity (and choice) to connect with others. And the work I do pivots around helping you make the source/values/self connection…which then leads to connecting meaningfully, open-heartedly, and authentically with others. Like I said…I’m a tangential catalyst for connection.

5. How do you disconnect? What’s the impact for you when you do?

When I’ve got too much going on (familiar, yo?), that’s when my cozy cashmere ball of connection unravels.

It starts with me disconnecting from source (this is such an insidious thing, I don’t even feel it happening… “I’ve got deadlines, dammit”).

Next comes disconnecting from self. Exercise, self-care, heart time, all vanish in a tuft of wistfulness and best-laid plans.

Then I disconnect from others (in this order: friends, then family…painful).

And that’s when I realize what has just happened…and the scramble back is always so much more work than just being aware of my level of connection in the first place. That’s my work.

I also want to make the distinction between disconnecting and disengaging. Disconnection feels like the root of all ills (aha…there’s that disease link), whereas disengaging can be an incredibly important exercise from time to time. There are times when we simply MUST disengage: from the drama, from the friction, and from the toxicity. MUST.

6. What advice do you have for people seeking more connection?

Anytime we seek more of anything, I always immediately go to: in service of what? Or another way in: to what end?

Get clear on what you believe connection will bring you, how it will make you feel and then go for that.

To this end, it helps to do some values-stringing. For me, connection is about intimacy (which is why connecting for me MUST be authentic and truthful and CANNOT be forced). For someone else, it might be about community. And for someone else, communion. Or congregation. Or collaboration. Each value has an entirely different quality. Get clear about that and I pretty much guarantee your path will reveal itself.

I can also offer this: as a coach, I’ve learned that curiosity and deep listening are like greased lightening for creating meaningful connection. There’s nothing like getting out of our own heads/stories and getting OVER THERE with someone else to bring about immersed and glorious connection.

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Tanya Geisler is a CTI-certified coach (also known as “a catalyst, not a therapist”), the author of The Joy Pages, creator of Board of Your Life, a speaker, and champion of clarity, action and achievement. Life is a grand production…and it’s time for you to step
into your starring role. Welcome.